Forms of Database Torture (Illustrated)

Many forms of disasters can happen to a database. Here are three I’ve seen lately.

My Database Is On Fire

My Database Is On Fire

There's a reason they keep datacenters cool

My Database Has Been Hacked

My Database Has Been Hacked


My Database is Responding Erratically

Database Under Attack

"Is there Tuna in There?"

  • eccentricDBA

    Here I thought when the database was on fire it was a good thing.

    “We just moved all of our databases to Solid State Disks and now the Databases are on fire.”

    “Yeah, they are smoking.”

    • Kendra Little

      That’s a good point. Smoking hot is good.

      You just want to avoid making the ceiling sprinklers go off.

  • Robert L Davis

    Excellent! here’s one: My Database is Bottlenecked

  • Joe Celko

    Where are “fragmented” and “denormalized” ?

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